This Is Why I Shouldn’t Be Trusted
by DementedViper
Summary: Merlin is trying to use magic to help arthur win a 'bet' but as normal when something goes wrong for merlin it REALLY goes wrong
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD

**A/N:** This fic was inspired by my **And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon **fic but has nothing to do with it, no Alia no nursery rhymes ect. If you must know the exact image? It was Gaius paired with the little dog line and a conversation with _Lovewithoutlimits_

**Warnings: **None yet...except may cause twitchiness and insanity later on

* * *

**This Is Why I Shouldn't Be Trusted**

Merlin flicked through his trusty magic book looking for something that would help him out of this mess. Arthur just could not keep his mouth shut, could he? Then again, Merlin supposed it was probably partly his fault. The saying was curiosity killed the cat, after all. The Prince just had to get all competitive with the visiting princess, whose attempts of seduction Arthur had brushed off and unintentionally started a 'I'm better then you' fight, although it was not acknowledged out loud for fear of them realising how childish they were being.

Therefore, now Merlin was trying to find away to win the competition he and the Princess' maid had been dragged into. He grinned when he found what he needed. Concentrating Merlin held out his hand and focus on it "_lǣtan__mec__āsmēagan__ǣhc__gesceaft_" he hissed and frowned when noting happened. With an annoy growl he narrowed his eyes "_**lǣtan**__**mec**__**āsmēagan**__**ǣhc**__**gesceaft**_" his eyes flashed gold and he felt the magic coil around his hand he grinned and pressed the ball of magic into his head wincing at the strange feeling. "I did it!" he laughed then frowned and suddenly cried out falling of his bed clutching his head. The room flashed before everything went black.

...

Merlin groaned as he started to feel again, he wanted to be back in the black chasm, his head was pounding, and it felt like he had hit it along with landing on his shoulder in an awkward way. Sighing, his eyes opened and he sat up looking around. He stood and winced as his joints clicked. He put the book under the floor bored and turned to leave he would try later.

"Hello Gaius" Merlin said as he passed the elder man.

"Baaaa"

"What!?!" he spun on his heel falling ungracefully in a heap and jumping back up eyeing Gaius

"Baaa Ba Baaa Baaaaaa" Merlin's eyes widened as Gaius 'Baa-ed' as if he was actually talking and seemed to expect an answer

"Oh no." Merlin muttered and closed his eyes. He was CURSED! All he had wanted was to be able to understand animals so he could find out what was wrong with the Princess' horse, so he could win the bet. Not have Gaius talk like one. Someone knocked on the door, Merlin watched it open, and Arthur came in raising an eyebrow "Sorry Arthur I was just on my way"

"Woof!"

"Oh I am in _so_ much trouble," he muttered with a groan. Now he had to work out how to fix this. "This," he said to Arthur "is why I shouldn't be trusted, everything _always_ goes wrong."

"Grrrrwoof!" Merlin just sighed.

* * *

Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD

**A/N:** This fic was inspired by my **And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon **fic but has nothing to do with it, no Alia no nursery rhymes ect. If you must know the exact image? It was Gaius paired with the little dog line and a conversation with _Lovewithoutlimits_

**Warnings: **None yet...except may cause twitchiness and insanity later on

**A/N2:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this just as much and I dont disappoint. If you have questions feel free to ask.

**A/N3: **Its kinda short but it is an update the DAY after the last i might even get another one up today....but i dunno if i should spoil you.

* * *

**This Is Why I Shouldn't Be Trusted**

Chapter 2 – Of All Things

Arthur raised an eyebrow as Merlin went to his room grabbed something and stormed out. The Prince turned to Gaius who had a frown.

"Gaius, has Merlin completely lost it? Why was he making cat noises?"

"I have no idea, sire...maybe the stress of being your servant has gotten to him?"

"I am not that bad" Gaius just smiled and nodded. "Well seen as Merlin seems to be in the middle of a breakdown, it looks like I am getting my own horse," Arthur said before leaving.

...

Merlin shook his head muttering to himself as he rushed though the castle corridors he had a feeling he needed to speak with the Sparky, he really should ask the Dragon his real name but Sparky amused him and was his silent revenge against the, sometimes, cranky Dragon.

"Oink! Oink!" Merlin jumped and spun expecting a runaway pig when he remembered that everyone sounded like an animal. What shocked him most was that it was Gwen who sounded like a pig. Sweet and gentle Gwen. A Pig? Merlin shook his head deciding he did not want to ask why they sounded like the animals they did.

"Gwen! I um...can't talk right now!" he said then darted off hearing loud squeals and snorts behind him. Considering it was day light, it was incredibly easy to get down to the Dragon. "I need your help!" he called waking the beast who looked at him his scales scrunching up in what Merlin presumed was a Dragon frown. "Please?"

"Ribbit...Ribbbbbbit....ribbbbit ribbit!"

"Oh good lord" Merlin groaned letting the thought of hitting his head on the book pas through his mind, but he decided against it. Growling to himself, he turned on his heels and stormed out again, storming seemed to be the theme of the day. "Now what do I do?" he growled not noticing as he walked, in a rather brisk and angry stomping manner, past Uther and Morgana who gave his back a bemused look.

...

"Why did he sound like an angry cat?" Uther asked Morgana who shook her head linking her arm with his.

"I have no idea, but he is Merlin."

"Indeed"

...

With a sigh, Merlin slid down the tree and stared at his book. "This is your fault"

"That book can't talk back, silly humans," an amused voice said

"What?" his head snapped up and he looked around

"Down here human" the voice came again but this time sounded slightly confused and angry. Merlin blinked down as a snake reared out of the grass.

"Wow" he murmured, the fact the snake was talking to him and he understood skipped his mind in favour of watching the blue scales glitter in the sun light. "What are you?"

"A snake" came the dry response and Merlin glared at the beautiful, and more than likely poisonous, snake

"I can see that...," he said, ignoring the snakes not so quite 'oh good' "I meant what type of snake?"

"Just a common grass snake" the snake, nervously, said lowering to the grass "see? Hiss, hiss"

"I'm not that much of an idiot..." 'You are talking to a snake' "you're blue"

"I am not!" he or she Merlin was not too sure, huffed "I am sapphire thank you very much"

"You and Arthur would get along great"

"Who's Arthur?"

"You know Prince of Camelot?"

"Oh yesssss" Merlin could have sworn the snake rolled his eyes

"Anyway why are you blue?" Merlin guessed he was on the receiving end of a snake glare.

"Sapphire. And I am Sapphire because my kind are shades of blue, sapphire showing we are the purest and most potent"

"Are you magic?" the odd silver eyes narrowed

"Yes, human, I am magic. I am a rune snake, what do they teach you humans?"

"Nothing"

"Evidently...do you not find it weird you are talking to a snake?" Merlin frowned, he had not thought about it.

"I suppose but then again everyone in Camelot do sound like animals"

"You used magic didn't you?" Merlin's eyes narrowed at the condescending tone of the snake. He was not about to be lectured by a snake of all things!

* * *

Happy? Next chap should be soon


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD

**A/N:** This fic was inspired by my **And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon **fic but has nothing to do with it, no Alia no nursery rhymes ect. If you must know the exact image? It was Gaius paired with the little dog line and a conversation with _Lovewithoutlimits_

**Warnings: **None yet...except may cause twitchiness and insanity later on

**A/N2:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this just as much and I dont disappoint. If you have questions feel free to ask.

**A/N3: **Its kinda short but it is an update the DAY after the last i might even get another one up today....but i dunno if i should spoil you.

* * *

**This Is Why I Shouldn't Be Trusted**

Chapter 3 – Peace and Quiet 

The snake, named Blue just because Merlin was in a slightly sadistic mood to the snake, felt the need to join in the human custom of rolling his eyes at the stupid human he had seem to have collected. However, being a snake, he could not roll his eyes and the threat of biting the human only earned him a shrug, foolish human.

"No, no, no see that is where you went wrong," 'Blue' said cutting his human off "instead of enabling you to hear and understand animals you switched the voices of humans and animals, to your ears at least." Blue peered at the big ears and wished he had those lines of fur above the eyes that humans were so fond of rising.

"So all the human's understand each other?"

"Yes but they sound like animal's to them."

"And all the animals sound like humans?"

"Yes" Blue gave the snake version of a sigh and Merlin nodded

"But I still have my human voice or rather language"

"No you would have an animal voice as well. But because you understand animals your humans don't understand you" Blue felt decidedly smug about the whole situation, his humans face was quite funny as well.

"So what do I sound like?"

"Only a human could tell you that"

"But they can't because...forget it! How do I fix this?"

"Now that would be telling"

"Do not be cruel to the human" a motherly voice tutted and a raven flew from the trees and settled on his shoulder. "You will figure it out child"

"What about Sparky?" Merlin suddenly asked, "I mean he's a Dragon but I went down to him and he sounded like a frog"

"Because he spoke human to your mind," the raven said gently picking at Merlin's hair and Merlin concluded he would not say anything about it, as the bird could peck his eyes and brain out.

"Oh...right" he said slowly. Blue hissed and Merlin saw him hiding back in the grass as Arthur and his Knights came close to train. After a few minutes the barking, squawking, baaing, mooing, grunting, and snorts became too much for Merlin and he quickly left with Blue and the raven he was going to name Snow, along with the book held in a protective grasp, he was playing a dangerous game having it out in public.

With a sigh, Merlin settled in the clearing just within the forest and was glad that he could no longer hear the Knights.

"So, let's get to work" he murmured

"A speaker!" "A Human!" Merlin groaned as a hundred or so different creatures in the clearing started talking, so much for peace and quiet.

* * *

REVEIW!!!! Happy? Next chap should be soon


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD

**A/N:** This fic was inspired by my **And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon **fic but has nothing to do with it, no Alia no nursery rhymes ect. If you must know the exact image? It was Gaius paired with the little dog line and a conversation with _Lovewithoutlimits_

**Warnings: **None yet...except may cause twitchiness and insanity later on

**A/N2:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this just as much and I dont disappoint. If you have questions feel free to ask.

**A/N3: **Its kinda short but it is an update (YAY) i also have a burnt thumb so its kinda hard to type.

* * *

**This Is Why I Shouldn't Be Trusted**

**Chapter 4 – Shoes and Their Pain**

It was dark by the time he wandered back into the castle. Arthur, of course, spotted him and strode over barking at him. Merlin closed his eyes and decided hissing at him would be a good idea. A bemused Arthur blinked after his servant who stormed off, again sounding like an angry cat.

Merlin collapsed on his bed loving the quite. He yawned and looked at the ceiling when there was a knock on the door and Gaius came in, Merlin groaned hiding his face and the man baa-ed at him. Sighing Merlin stood and walked out leaving a worried and confused man behind him.

With his feet guiding in Merlin was not surprised when he arrived in the stables, after all with the spell gone wrong, he might as well take advantage of it. He found the princess' horse and stood crossing his arms staring at the mount.

"What?" he snapped, moodily his black eyes staring back.

"Why are you being so damn stubborn? This is your entire fault! If you had not have been so foul I would not be hearing animals and be sounding like a bird for magic's sake!"

"My shoe doesn't fit" the grumpy stead said

"Pardon?"

"My shoe!" he rolled his eyes speaking slowly "It. Does. Not. Fit!"

"You!...You!...I...It....What!" Merlin spluttered, "You mean to tell me I could sound like a...fly! For all I know because your** shoe** does not fit!"

"Yes" he huffed "and it is uncomfortable!"

"GAH!" Merlin threw his hands up and growled before kneeling and taking the shoe off. He then went to the blacksmith and wrote down what he meant showing him the shoe; he nodded after reading the note and hissed at him. Merlin just sighed and left. He looked down at the list and ticked it with the snub of the quill in his pocket. He looked at the next one and sighed, an owl egg?

"Hello stupid human"

"Blue" he said allowing the snake to slither up his leg and into his jacket pocket.

"I am sapphire"

"I know but I named you Blue," he said walking to the forest "Know any owls?"

"Why do you want to speak to them feathered flying balls of hooting annoyance?" he asked offended "Am I not good enough company?"

"Gee let's see, you're sarcastic, you're a snake who is probably poisonous, and you're sarcastic..."

"And you are not?"

"And you interrupt me a lot"

"And?" Merlin rolled his eyes, why did he attract the annoying ones.

* * *

REVEIW!!!! Happy? Next chap should be soon


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD

**A/N:** This fic was inspired by my **And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon **fic but has nothing to do with it, no Alia no nursery rhymes ect. If you must know the exact image? It was Gaius paired with the little dog line and a conversation with _Lovewithoutlimits_

**Warnings: **None yet...except may cause twitchiness and insanity later on

**A/N2:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this just as much and I dont disappoint. If you have questions feel free to ask.

**A/N3: **Its kinda short but it is an update (YAY). I know all my stories havent been updated in a while but i am trying to update all of them today and tomorrow with at least 1 but hopefully 2 chaps

* * *

**This Is Why I Shouldn't Be Trusted**

**Chapter 5 – Cat Calls And Hooting**

Merlin found himself trekking through the damned forest; he hated this place, something bad always happened when he was here. Blue was taking revenge for being named Blue and not Sapphire, he had said that Merlin could find the owl on his own. The only clue the annoying, sadistic, and sarcastic poisonous snake would give Merlin was 'the one you need to look for does not sit in plain sight', damn that snake.

Merlin had been wondering for twenty minutes when he finally admitted defeat and looked around, he saw eyes watching him from a tree and cleared his throat. "Um excuse me?"

"Yes talking human?" Merlin mentally groaned, not another snake.

"I'm looking for an owl"

"Any in particular?"

"I need an owl egg, I do not want to take a young without my promise to return it" the snake came out and Merlin felt his knees ready to give way, the snake was black with silver eyes and a silver streak down it's back, very dangerous.

"I shall you take you to Tawny" he said slithering up to Merlin's shoulder and settling around his shoulders "walk forward until I say" Merlin resisted giggling as the tongue flicked his neck and he followed the snake's directions.

"What on earth is he doing sire?" Arthur looked back at his Knights before shrugging and returning his eyes to Merlin who was meowing like a cat as he looked up into the trees walking around

"I have no idea," he muttered slowly. Arthur shook his head, deciding his manservant needed the brake that he had taken without asking, and left with his knights to continue their training somewhere else where they could not see Merlin have his little breakdown.

"Tawny!" Merlin called with his newer, better, less annoying snake friend.

"Yes human?" He sighed in relief as the bird he needed flew into the lower branches

"May I have one of your eggs, I promise to return it unharmed"

"And if you do not?"

"I shall watch out for your other young and protect them as you raise them" she eyed him then hooted and flew off. Merlin sighed until she flew back with an egg

"I trust you Emrys" she twittered putting the egg in his hands and flying off. Merlin looked down at it then carefully put it in his pocket and marked off his little list

"What the...!" he swore as he saw the next item on his list.

* * *

REVEIW!!!! Happy? Next chap should be in a few seconds


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD

**A/N:** This fic was inspired by my **And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon **fic but has nothing to do with it, no Alia no nursery rhymes ect. If you must know the exact image? It was Gaius paired with the little dog line and a conversation with _Lovewithoutlimits_

**Warnings: **None yet...except may cause twitchiness and insanity later on

**A/N2:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this just as much and I dont disappoint. If you have questions feel free to ask.

**A/N3: **Its kinda short but it is an update (YAY). I know all my stories havent been updated in a while but i am trying to update all of them today and tomorrow with at least 1 but hopefully 2 chaps. YAY SECOND CHAP!

**A/N4:** As you read this you will realise that there is something that is linked (slighty) to hellboy, for some reason it is in my head and will not go away lol

* * *

**This Is Why I Shouldn't Be Trusted**

**Chapter 6 – Fruits Of That Mother**

There was a reason part of the forest was surrounded in darkness, Merlin thought as he shivered at the prickling of the magic that filled the air. Of course, the damn princess would want one of the forbidden fruits, which Camelot was famous before being close to.

"We should not be here" Strike, his even more poisonous snake friend said looking around.

"I know," he murmured stroking Strike who was now around his wrist.

"Then why are we?"

"Because I like my job and if Arthur fails I shall be fired" he sighed, the trees seemed to be getting darker as they got deeper.

"What is so good about him anyway?"

"I have no idea" he chuckled. Another five minutes of walking and the trees were suddenly lighter and they were getting thinner. They soon found themselves in a clearing. Except for a lake, there was one tree and hanging off it were ruby red apples.

"You know, anyone that has taken fruit from that tree previously ends up hurt."

"Yes I know, there must be a guardian?"

"Maybe" Merlin sighed and walked to the tree he looked around it before tilting his head and spotting something.

In the tree was a red circle that could be taken as another apple but if you looked carefully there was two golden dots the blinked, they were eyes. The 'apple' uncoiled showing something that Merlin could only describe as the real life version of a demon from the stories he had heard a little boy telling his younger sister in Ealdor. However it was not big and scary like they said but rather...cute.

"I am not cute" it huffed crossing its tiny red arms Merlin chuckled and pulled a leaf off one of the little red horns.

"Ok then" he smiled "Are you the guardian of this fruit?"

"I am the guardian Mother Nature appointed, yes"

"How may I take an apple without any bad or dire consequences?"

"The fruit is forbidden" black eyes glittered with mischief

"I shall not eat it"

"The fruit is that of great power"

"I already have all the power I want"

"You will not steal it?"

"No I ask your permission so that nothing bad or negative happens to me or the one I give it to" Black eyes turned to slits

"You are one of hers," Mentally dubbed Pointy, said with a little smirk "Very well you shall have permission."

"Wait, one of whose?"

"Pick an apple and you will find out when the time was right" Merlin sighed but nodded. He took one of the lower hanging apples that was less shiny then the others then patted Pointy "goodbye human"

"Goodbye little cute red...guardian" he smiled and left crossing another item off the list.

* * *

REVEIW!!!! Happy? Next chap should be in a few seconds


End file.
